#36 How to Lead with Kindness and Clarity

Let’s get one thing straight: being kind is not the same as being a pushover.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard salon owners say, “I’m just too nice to be a strong leader.”
And every time I hear it, I want to scream No, you’re not!
You’re not too nice, you’re just boundary-starved.

What you’re calling “nice” is often just fear in disguise:
• Fear of confrontation.
• Fear of letting someone down.
• Fear of being seen as “mean.”

But here’s the real kicker: without boundaries, your kindness turns into resentment.
And that helps no one, not your team, not your guests, and definitely not you.

So let’s talk about how to keep your heart open and your standards high.

Stop Thinking of Boundaries as Barriers

Boundaries are not about shutting people out. They’re about creating the clarity that makes everyone feel safer.

Your top stylists? They don’t want chaos. They want to know what’s expected, what the limits are, and where the line is between flexibility and flat-out enabling.

If your team doesn’t know your boundaries, they’ll cross them without even realizing it.
Then you’ll feel taken advantage of—and they’ll be confused about why you’re frustrated.

Set the expectations. Then keep them consistent.

Practice Saying “No” Without Explaining Yourself

“I can’t approve that schedule change.”
“This isn’t a good time to chat.”
“No, you can’t clock out early today.”

Those are complete sentences.

You don’t need to over-apologize or explain every decision.
You’re allowed to have structure. You’re allowed to protect your time.
And I promise, the people who respect you will respect your “no.”

Lead with Both Warmth and Clarity

Great leadership is structured and soft.
You need both.

Warmth without clarity = confusion.
Clarity without warmth = fear.

If you’re avoiding hard conversations because you don’t want to hurt feelings, chances are your team is hurting more because of the silence.

Say the thing. Do it with care. But do it.

Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Respect

Every time you say “yes” to something that drains you, you’re saying “no” to something that matters more.
And you’re teaching your team that your needs come last.

You don’t have to choose between being respected and being liked.
But you do have to go first.
You teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself.

You’re Not Too Nice—You’re Just New to Boundaries

You can lead with compassion.
You can care deeply about your team.
You can have a big heart and high standards.

But if you want to lead well and not burn out in the process, boundaries aren’t optional.
They’re the container that holds your leadership together.

You’ve got this, friend.

Salt + Light, 

Heather