Episode 17: Don't Know Your Purpose? What to Do While You Figure It Out
"I don't know what I'm good at anymore" is something I said out loud this week, and chances are you've thought it too.
In this episode, we get honest about what it feels like to be in a season with no clear direction, whether that's after closing a salon, while juggling several roles, or after years of playing it safe. We talk about the fear of going back to who you used to be, the fear of trying and having nobody care, and what happens when you start saying yes to the next thing again.
You'll also hear a simple exercise we tried live: introduce yourself in 60 seconds without mentioning work. We close with why social media is a poor yardstick for your own path, how to stop borrowing other people's certainty, and a challenge to ask God for your next step.
This episode is for salon owners, former owners, and entrepreneurs who feel stuck, overstimulated, or unsure of their purpose, and you'll walk away with a way to reconnect with who you are outside of work and permission to take the next small step before you have it all figured out.
HERE ARE 5 MAIN TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Takeaway #1: A Season Without Clear Direction Can Still Be a Good Season
Amanda is coaching for PIP, doing marketing for her family's real estate business, and raising her kids, and she's almost three years out from closing her salon. When she owned the salon, her purpose and her daily direction were obvious. Now she feels like she's wandering, and she has put pressure on herself to do something big and make a lot of money. Her husband offered a reframe that changed how she sees it. What if the thing she's meant to be doing for the four years her kids are still home is simply what she's doing right now? Not every season has to look impressive to be the right one, and you can love the work in front of you while the bigger picture is still blurry.
Takeaway #2: Taking Action Again Starts With Saying Yes to the Very Next Thing
Heather looked back at who she was at 19 and 27, a young woman with a $650 rent payment waving a sledgehammer through a salon build-out and growing from 200 square feet to 5,500. She realized that naivete and having her back against the wall pushed her to try things constantly. As life got more comfortable and she took a few hard falls, she got more cautious. She also found that years of keeping her head down and avoiding anything that felt like a pivot had left her stagnant. Over the last two and a half weeks she has been saying yes to whatever comes next and doing the things that scare her, starting with committing to post on social media for 88 days in a row. Amanda is doing a version of the same thing when she tries out new ideas, like setting up Claude as a house manager. You don't have to know whether any single experiment is "the one" to get value from running it.
Takeaway #3: Name the Fear Underneath the Stuck Feeling
Sitting in a therapy session last week, Amanda realized she isn't afraid of the work or the ambition. She's afraid of going back to how she felt when she was running the salon, because she was sick and doesn't want to feel that way again. Heather's fear is a different one: trying something, putting in the work, and having nobody care. Once she could see that clearly, she decided she's done letting it decide for her. Two people in the same season can be held back by completely different fears, and you can't work on yours until you know which one it is. Amanda's takeaway is that she can take action again as long as she stays in alignment while she does it.
Takeaway #4: Try Introducing Yourself Without Mentioning Work
Mallory has spent years in therapy working on not losing herself in achievement, and the question she keeps coming back to is who she is once the professional part is stripped away. This episode includes an exercise Heather heard about from Ashley Thomas, who experienced it with a group of entrepreneurs. You introduce yourself for 60 seconds without saying anything about work. Heather, Amanda, Mallory, and Sam each took a turn, and the answers included wives, fiancées, moms, cat and dog moms, crocheters, gardeners, singers, horse lovers, readers, and a woman with more hobbies than anyone Heather knows. Heather noticed that once work is off the table, it becomes easy to sit in the moment and answer a simple question: what about you? It makes a good icebreaker for your team, and a good exercise to do alone with a notebook.
Takeaway #5: Stop Using Other People's Certainty as Your Own
Sam's advice for anyone in a season of uncertainty is to be careful about letting what you see on Instagram tell you what to do next. You might not know the vehicle that will get you there, but you can still know your why, and that's the place to make decisions from. Heather added that social media is a highlight reel, and you have no idea what the person at the airport in the designer outfit is texting their best friend that night. Amanda is putting out a reel about defining your own success instead of following everyone else's definition. Heather's closing challenge is to sit down with a notebook and ask God what He wants you to do about this. If you don't believe, try it once anyway. The worst outcome is that you write down an idea, and if you keep doing it, you'll be better positioned to find your next step.
Mentioned Links In This Episode:
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