What if the mom guilt you've been carrying isn't even yours to begin with?
In this episode, Amanda, Erin, Sam, and I get real about the pressure to be the perfect mom and business owner, and why I honestly don't struggle with guilt the way most moms do. We talk about how kids adopt what you do, not what you say, and why teaching them to sit in frustration and boredom is one of the greatest gifts you can give.
I share what it looks like to be fully present wherever your feet are planted, and Amanda drops a truth bomb from John Delony about how entitlement is really just the fear of being frustrated. Then we shift into the power of having ride-or-die people in your corner the ones who make you braver, keep you accountable, and remind you that you're never alone.
If you've ever felt pulled in a hundred directions, questioned whether you're doing enough, or wished for friendships that feel safe and real, this one's for you. You'll walk away feeling seen, a little lighter, and reminded that who you surround yourself with might just be the thing that changes everything.
HERE ARE 5 MAIN TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:
Takeaway #1: Wherever Your Feet Are Planted Is Where You’re Supposed to Be
Amanda was on a call with a group of women in the investing space, and it turned into a conversation about mom guilt and the pressure to be an amazing business owner and an amazing mom at the same time. Erin knows that pull well. When her kids were little and she was a hairdresser, mom, and business owner all at once, she always felt like wherever she was, she was supposed to be somewhere else. What helps her now is giving herself grace, because women’s lives and work don’t look like the traditional picture we were taught. She leans on the people around her who understand the balance. She also tells her teenagers the truth when life gets nuts instead of holding it in and acting perfect, so they know what’s going on and how she’s trying to manage.
Takeaway #2: Kids Adopt What You Do, So Show Them How You Handle Hard Things
Heather shared that kids don’t adopt what you say, they adopt what you do. She saw a reel where a mom stopped telling her kids they were smart and capable and started saying those things about herself in front of them. A few months later, she caught them saying it too. Heather started doing the same in the mirror, and now her daughter does a little pose in the mirror when they get ready for church. Erin pointed out that when life gets hard and you show up for your kids honestly, without being perfect, you’re teaching them how to suffer well. That only works if you do it yourself and let them see it. She also said that the personal development and identity you build outside of mom life are part of how you parent them.
Takeaway #3: Be Fully Present Where You Are, and Reject the Guilt
Heather works around 50 hours a week, and her kids aren’t home Monday through Friday from 8:45 to 6:30. She said she doesn’t consciously deal with a lot of guilt, and she works to make the time she does have with them count. For example, she wanted to answer DMs this morning, but she reminded herself that everything can wait until after 8:45. When guilt does creep in, it’s usually because she’s picking up on how other moms feel. At that point she checks in with herself and sees that she’s living the way she wants to live. Amanda added that guilt and confusion are tactics of the enemy that tell us we’re not enough. Peace comes when we’re fully invested in the moment, and the thoughts creep in when we start to dwell on the past or the future.
Takeaway #4: Let Your Kids Sit in Frustration and Boredom
Amanda heard psychiatrist John Delony speak at a marriage retreat and remembered one idea in particular, that entitlement is the fear of being frustrated. As parents, we want to dive in and fix things whenever our kids get frustrated, and that does them a disservice. They have to sit in that frustration, because it’s a life skill. Heather agreed that doing everything for them leads to entitlement, since they get used to having things done for them. Erin takes the same approach with boredom. She wants her kids to practice being bored, because there’s so much stimulation now, and if they can master it, they’ll be ahead of about 90% of people. The same goes for anger and discomfort of any kind, and you build the skill by practicing.
Takeaway #5: The Right People Around You Change Your Next Step
Heather says that without the right people around you, you can get way too in your head and start believing things that aren’t true. When her daughter’s first day of preschool was awful, her friends reached out right away, and knowing that this is what moms go through helped. She and Amanda are posting a lot right now, and Heather says seeing Amanda try as hard as she does makes her want to try harder. She’s tried to post consistently many times and never done it until now. Amanda’s reel about loving Jesus and being slightly unhinged brought in over 300 followers in a few days, and many women wrote that they wanted to be friends. Heather says that when she tries something now, she thinks, “If this flops and ruins everything, at least I still have them.” Sam called it a safety net, because if you’re only accountable to yourself, you’ll let yourself down more often than not. Erin said parenting and friendship are the same thing, since being surrounded by people who let you be messy is how your kids learn they’re never alone.
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